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Gain mutual respect through accountability

Updated: Nov 19, 2022

It is something we all must do for ourselves, families, children, friends, employees, bosses, well, everyone we know! At times we simply must hold people accountable. (Thanks for the photo Liz, as you can see, even Ozzie the dog, one of my favorite dogs, who is lovingly nicknamed, "The Sheriff", can't raise his hand whole heartedly regarding holding people accountable! Now, dogs on the other hand, he can do that alllll day long.) I know, I know, it isn’t easy. And it isn’t usually fun or even anything we look forward to, yet it is positively a necessity. In working with clients, I notice I am not the only one who struggles. Having had many conversations about this, I have come to a few steps that help us to know when and how. When? These times are definite for accountability:

  • Someone disappoints us over and over

  • Someone doesn’t follow through

  • Someone does something that is wrong or agreed they wouldn’t

Best Practices for How: 1) Respectfully and with kindness: In accountability, a well thought out conversation goes a long way. Respect and kindness for yourself and toward the person you are holding accountable, will more often help you to make the point in a meaningful way that the person can hear it. 2) Timely: It is best to bring it up when the infraction has occurred, don’t let too much time pass 3) Be clear and state the facts. This is not the time to rant or to be passive aggressive. This is time to take an observer view and just state the facts of what happened. 4) Be honest: What were you expecting them to do? What did you need them to do? What had they agreed they would do? State these. 5) Shine a light on the gap: Share with them the differences between what they did or didn’t do and what you expected 6) Share the consequences: What happened as a result of what they did or didn’t do? What is the impact on you personally, your organization, your relationship? 7) Ask for their feedback: At this point you may want to hear their side of the story. 8) Consequences and Moving Forward Plan: After you hear their side, it is now time to decide what to do next. This is the part where you will have to decide the consequences and for you to state them and the plan for moving forward 9) Expectations: Clearly outline and state your expectations for what you expect from them moving forward. This includes what you want them to do and anything you expect from them. 10) The Plan: Make a follow up plan and stick to it with specific steps and deadlines 11) Follow up according to plan Oh, it just sounds so simple. I get it. It is not. In the game of business and life when we run into times where accountability is the solution, we need to take it seriously and one step at a time. When we do, we are most often rewarded with better relationships, mutual respect and at the most difficult times, a path towards resolution. Do these steps sound useful yet you would like to have some examples or practice? Let's Connect. Have a beautiful week my friends! Shelly The Bee Keeper


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