Updated: Nov 19
The moment was still. I peered up at the centuries old giant redwood and could felt it’s strength, calm, and endurance. I felt a silence overcome me. It was as fleeting as it was rich.
I decidedly wanted more of that rich feeling. I started searching for it in everyday life. It wasn’t easy yet, I found when I made time for silence, everything else seemed to flow more easily.
Therefore, I have been cultivating silence, as a part of my work life in addition to personal. I have been using it to gain clarity and focus. It is sort of a meditation, and it works well.
What I do is stop, sit, or walk in silence, not thinking, just being. My experience is that it is very peace building. And peace to me, is my number one need. Peace feels like freedom.
Stage One: Sit or walk while being completely quiet. Gently allow thoughts to come and go and resist getting stuck in direct thinking or problem solving. I picture the thoughts swimming away like fish. Then, I visualize clear water.
What happens then?
1) I notice that I can impact my ability to let things be as they are and some of the things that seem so important, after they rest, will roll off like water on a duck’s back. Or they shrink to something that is manageable.
2) Ideas Transmission-new fresh ideas come through which were unavailable (or dismissed) when I was just kept going, going, going
3) Elimination-I can eliminate some of my doings. I realize things I can Stop doing-even some things that seemed ultra-important
4) Sweet Clarity -I have a sense of a clear, unfettered, and open mind.
5) Focus-afterward, my ability to focus is greatly increased.
Stage Two: Journaling
After some silent, mind-emptying time, I take time to journal.
What does this do?
1) Journaling makes the Free-Flowing Mind Tangible-Thoughts and ideas flow more easily. Putting them on paper they become real, touchable.
2) Unclog Your Tensions-Writing frees mind-clogging tensions-I find the act of taking time to hear myself and allowing myself to free write, even things my mind might typically think are bad or wrong, flushes out clogs and frees my mind.
3) Enjoy Safety and Security-There is a security in the writing. My thoughts are safely stored (even if I can’t read my scribblings)
4)Open Minded and Grounded-this process helps me to feel grounded, open minded and more ready to move forward. And this folks is where to me peace lives.
I invite you to give it a go. Need more information? Let’s connect. I offer 30 minutes of free coaching. Let's get acquainted.
On Conversational Capacity-defined by Craig Weber as "the ability to engage in constructive, learning-focused dialogue about difficult subjects, in challenging circumstances, and across tough boundaries."
Top skills and actions to master Conversational Capacity:
Prioritize learning over emotional reactions
Be open-simply listen deeply and generously without judgement
Do your best not to react, just to keep listening
Save your open ended questions
When appropriate-ask them with a curious mindset
Open ended question starters...(Say more, help me understand, How does this impact..., Please tell me more about that)
Make a request to ask for your turn to share your thoughts
Ask them to simply listen with curiosity
Then to ask open ended questions
Both sides remain open, curious and collectively come to conclusions and ideas to move forward
(above my nephew and I at a different style of conversational capacity, :-) )
Let's connect and share Silence Cultivation stories and ways to streamline Conversational Capacity!